Tri Cosmo

I totally wish I could pull off this look.

The Race Director and I rode 40 miles last week on a rainy Thursday morning. We were caught in a downpour. She said to me, “It’s a really good thing that I didn’t wear all of the make-up I usually wear on a ride. Otherwise, I’d have mascara running down my face.” And I said, “I KNOW, RIGHT?! You totally love make-up, and I admire you for it.” And then we laughed and laughed and laughed. And then we talked about the latest issue of Tri Cosmo.

Of course, if you are a woman and you are a triathlete, then you subscribe to Tri Cosmo. Personally, I have three subscriptions. I have issues delivered to home, the shore, and my office at school. It’s important to me to never miss any of the fun and fabulous articles in my favorite fashion/beauty/gossip/training/racing/nutrition magazine. From the celebrity sightings at Malibu Tri to “Who Wore the Wetsuit Best?” to their Body Glide Guide: Hot Spots You Just Can’t Miss! I read every issue cover to cover, and gab to all my TBFFs about all of it.  But there is nothing better than the monthly Tri Cosmo quiz. Team WBTU gets together every month to take the quiz, and then we compare our scores over kale chips and melon Heed cosmos.

I received permission from Tri Cosmo to excerpt one of the quizzes and I reprinted it below. Ladies, go ahead and take the quiz and then calculate your score.

I consider myself

1. A newbie triathlete
2. An old timer
3. A triathlon goddess
4. Lucky to be alive at the end of each race

When I race, I wear

1. Just a bathing suit (JBS).
2. My USA race kit with my name on the butt.
3. A gorgeous pink kit that my husband bought for me for our anniversary. I call him Mr. Wonderful.
4. Whatever stinks the least.

Oh no! It’s raining on race morning! What do you do?

1. Sleep in. Wake up late, drink coffee, eat pancakes, and read the paper.
2. Is it raining? I didn’t notice.
3. Oh, I’ll be there. Mr. Wonderful will pack all of my things in ziploc bags and hold an umbrella over my head as I set up transition.
4. Show up. Less people at the race=better chance to podium.

What is your go-to brand of race day mascara?

1. Huh?
2. What?
3. I have two. Either Maybelline’s “It’s Race Day!” Waterproof Mascara, or Cover Girl’s “M-dot Mega Lash” Mascara. Mr. Wonderful loves the way my eyes really pop on the run!
4. Excuse me?

Rough surf conditions turn your tri into a du. How do you react?

1. Thank God. That ocean was freaking me out.
2. I suspected this would happen because I watched the marine forecast all week. As a result, I did some extra speedwork on the track. So BRING IT.
3. Fantastic! I stand on the beach and scream “WOOOOO!” Now I won’t have to reapply my lipstick in T1! Mr. Wonderful loves his lady looking good for the race photographer!
4. Crap. Run twice?

It’s your first race of the season and you realize that you did entirely too much straight-from-the-oven-to-your-mouth baking over the winter. Your lycra looks….lumpy. What do you do?

1. Hey, I’m new at this. What you see is what you get.
2. 10-day juice cleanse. I’ll drop the lbs. in no time.
3. Oh, that would never happen. Mr. Wonderful requires a minimum 2.5 centimeter thigh gap.
4. Amazon Prime for the next size up.

Uh oh. The race starts soon and the line for the port-o-potty is really long. What do you do?

1. Stay in line, cross my fingers, and hope the line moves more quickly.
2. Utilize my squatty potty (patent pending). You know, the construction bucket I keep in the back of my SUV for just such occasions.
3. I don’t poop. Ever. Mr. Wonderful says it’s unseemly.
4. Mind over matter. Ujjayi breath.

So how did you score? If you answered “4” for everything, you’re me. If you answered “2” for everything, you’re most of my team. If you answered mostly “1”s, welcome to triathlon! You’re gonna love it!

And you ladies who chose “3”, you need two things: a divorce lawyer and some group therapy. You can join my group. We hold hands. But leave that “WOOOOO!” shit at home.

I mean, you can come, but don’t wear a yellow sweater. I ALWAYS wear a yellow sweater.