Dream Conversation, the Sequel

I read the interview that Mr. Messick gave to Bob Babbitt. And then I fell asleep. Here’s the dream conversation sequel:

LP: Hi Mr. Messick. Me again. I have a few more questions. Do you mind?

AM: 1001….1002….1003. I don’t know if you heard me counting. That was over a thousand.

LP: Okay. Can I come in?

AM: Of course! I was just doing my workout. Tuesday is arms and back.

LP: Thank you. I am still struggling with your decision not to permit me from racing at the Kona Championship.

AM: Yes! Of course.

LP: Well, like I said, I won 5000 Kona points. I raced 4 times in a year to win those points. 

AM: Yep. And did you like your race swag? Tee-shirts and visors and whatnot?

LP: Uh, yes. It was fine.

AM: Great! Such good feedback. Even though you are just a sample size of n=1. That’s a statistics reference. I took a stat class at UC Davis. I also took a class called “All That Jazz”. I am particularly fond of jazz fl-

LP: (interrupting) Speaking of statistics, you mentioned proportionality the last time I was here.

AM: Right! Proportionality! Love it. You know, 60% of the time, it works all the time.

LP: You do know that you are basing your proportions on the total professional population, which includes hundreds of male pro triathletes that have 10 Kona points or less. This means that a substantial part of your denominator has no intention of racing at Kona.

AM: Yes, but….

LP: Furthermore…

AM: …oh no, there’s more?

LP: …there are many females who choose not to take their pro card. They want to race at Kona, but they also understand the high monetary cost and physical punishment of qualification. It is higher than their male counterparts, simply because there are less available spots. So they race Kona as amateurs.

AM: Yes, well…

LP: Also, your women’s pro race has been more compelling than the men’s pro race for several years. Rinny running down all those competitors last year was mind-blowing. Her marathon time beat all of the pro male times!

AM: Oh, it’s the burn. It’s the deep burn.

LP: What?

AM: My head. No, I mean my arms. Look, it’s called IRONMAN, not IRONLADY. And that is a scientific fact. I’m sorry, but I’m just about out of time. First a Soul Cycle class, and then I need to go throw a sack of kittens into the river. Those sacks don’t throw themselves now, do they?

LP: Ironman was a bad choice.

And then I woke up.


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