Tri the Wildwoods-A TMT Race Report

Before I get down to business on this race report, I need your feedback. Here’s my new logo:



It’s very important to have a logo. A logo serves as a highly recognizable symbol of your brand, your intentions, your image. I need my logo to state, “I really like triathlon, but I’m not married to it, and I’m certainly not winning any races. I also like icing and sprinkles.”  I think this logo says just that, which will be crucial for the success of the TMT Global Conglomerate. Let me know if you agree.

Back to race reporting. Saturday, August 16 was the 11th Annual Tri the Wildwoods Sprint Triathlon in beautiful North Wildwood, New Jersey. The race consists of a 500 yard ocean swim, 10 mile bike, and a 5K beach/boardwalk run. The weather was great, the 700+ participants were present, and the race went off without a hitch.

(You know what? I take that back. During my run out of the swim toward T1, my heel landed sharply on a rock. My foot hurts. As I write this, my left heel is bruised and hurts terribly. I need to contact the Race Director and file a complaint about that rock.)

The team took home piles of hardware yet again. Mrs. Donovan won the whole enchilada, with Snarky G. and The Reverend taking home Masters awards. Bonnie won 1st AG and Jelly Bean won 2nd AG. Our pal Susan R., who has yet to earn a killer nickname, finished third OA. I really don’t know why these fast and talented ladies let me hang out with them. It must be my talent for creating awesome nicknames. Or the steady stream of free donuts. It’s a toss-up.

Some podium shots here:

wpid-wp-1408327226305.jpeg wpid-wp-1408327204107.jpeg wpid-wp-1408327163967.jpeg

As always, the real fun starts when the race ends. There are worse ways to spend your morning than hanging out with good friends on a beautiful beach on a sunny day, eating a great breakfast:

wpid-wp-1408327255866.jpegHow’s that donut, JB? Look out for sea gulls!


Oops. Too late. When you don’t share with the gulls, they leave you a present.

Then, I received this from Tim Terranova, whose wife Susan raced that morning:


The kids from the Sunset Drive Kids Tri made this for me for covering their race last weekend. This could quite possibly be the greatest gift I have ever received. Not only is it considerate and sweet and adorable, but it also gives me total, unfettered access to all sporting events across the globe. Look at it. It’s “OFFICIAL”. I’m going to try it at the Super Bowl.

After breakfast and awards, we trekked over the North End American Grill for the “Official Tri the Wildwoods After Party”. The important thing to know about this party is that the beer is free. I mean, that’s pretty important. Cold draft beer, in cups, for free. And you don’t just get one free beer. You get lots of them. No charge. You get what I’m saying? It was free. The beer, I mean.

At the free-beer-after-party, I had the honor of meeting John Torres and his band of merry triathletes. Their group, the Tri Misfits, has “I Tri For Beer” on the backs of their team shirts, which made this particular gathering appropriate for the reason stated in the previous paragraph (i.e. free beer). My WBTU teammates (the ones who remembered their shirts on race day) got a picture with John’s group. As you can see, the WBTU teammates who forgot their shirts were relegated to photo bombing. So pathetic.


I spent the rest of the day napping, and then sleeping. When your day starts with setting up transition at 4:45 a.m. and ends with free beer, sleeping just feels right. The next day, my family took our Morey’s Piers all day wristbands to the boardwalk and hit the rides and the waterpark. I may be just a mediocre triathlete, but I am an excellent marksman. Nobody can shoot a water gun into a clown’s mouth like I can. My trophy:


I think they copied my logo. I need to call my lawyer.

Thanks, Mr. Delmo, for another great event. And thanks to everyone who said hello to me, on the course and at the party, especially John Torres and the Misfits. And thanks to the woman approached me at the Log Flume yesterday and said, “Aren’t you the mediocre……marathoner?”

Close enough.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s